A book written by Martha Whitmore Hickman for those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, here is strength and thoughtful words to inspire and comfort.
I started reading this book a few days after my husband died, and read a page every day for 365 days, and then started again. It has short, daily writings (you don't have to read them on any specific date, though you could). Each day starts with quotation and then the author writes about how that quotation has resonated with her (her daughter died). I have spent a lot of time reading and trying to make sense of grief since my husband died, and I would recommend this book for the early days or days when you can only handle a short message. It is broadly spiritual, but does not push any particular religion, and I was grateful for that as many books on grief and healing can lean heavily on traditional religious imagery or ideas that may not be helpful to everyone.
Another book that I have read twice in the 16 months since my husband died is "Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief" by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD. She pours wisdom and compassion onto the pages, as a grieving mother and an experienced bereavement counselor, and her words have helped me carry what I must. She says: "If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human."
And one more, "It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine - title says it all.
I don't want to overwhelm anyone with the idea of these books - there is no timeline for reading, no one method for getting information, and no requirement to read anything! Sometimes I could only read one sentence a day. For me, words are powerful and can soothe and give me permission to sit with my thoughts. I felt the need to find authors who validated my emotions, and made me feel understood. I also found that my reading was a welcome source of good-natured humor in my house - when I bought or checked out "another grief and death book" (as my boys put it), it normalized the process of grief and the attention to feelings that I want them to see. I don't expect them to grieve their dad the way I grieve him, but I do want them to know there is no shame in being devastated, no need to hide it, and when I need help I will seek it. (And by being that example, I hope they will be able to treat themselves the same way when they need it).
I just found this local educational program by VNH Visiting Nurse and Hospice of Vermont and New Hampshire- "Let's Talk Grief on the Holidays" posted on Dec 4 2020
@belliott0440 and @sargie11 another resource I wanted to highlight when and if interested. This book comes highly recommended. @mgd has made several statements above on her experience with the book. Includes daily readings.
Wonderful @jaytref I hope it brings you some comfort. I have spoken to many people who read daily. Keep me posted. Because of you I have just (finally) prioritized getting myself a copy and one for a friend who just lost her father last week after months with Hospice. I next need to get a Kindle! Left mine on a plan a few years back. Grateful for your update.
@kathyandcarl I wanted to highlight this book to you as well after hearing about the loss of your daughter. There are several members who have read or have started reading it. @jaytref have you started at all on your kindle?
@kathyandcarl I wanted to highlight this book to you as well after hearing about the loss of your daughter. There are several members who have read or have started reading it. @jaytref have you started at all on your kindle?
@elizabethaodonnell Hi Beth. Yes, I read it every night. It can be very comforting. I especially liked yesterday’s meditation. ‘In the extremity of darkness I will look up and see the stars.’ I think @kathyandcarl would find it helpful.
@elizabethaodonnell Hi Beth. Yes, I read it every night. It can be very comforting. I especially liked yesterday’s meditation. ‘In the extremity of darkness I will look up and see the stars.’ I think @kathyandcarl would find it helpful.
@jaytref you "read every night" and it has been "very comforting" this is so good to know. I and still waiting for my hard copy in the mail but please continue to share readings- meditation that resonated with you or made a positive impact on your day.
I have found myself looking up at the stars and sky option this winter to make sure I capture it's beauty in the midst of a busy day. Especially when it has been so cold I do this to motivate me to continue to put one foot in front of the other. It brings me comfort.
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I started reading this book a few days after my husband died, and read a page every day for 365 days, and then started again. It has short, daily writings (you don't have to read them on any specific date, though you could). Each day starts with quotation and then the author writes about how that quotation has resonated with her (her daughter died). I have spent a lot of time reading and trying to make sense of grief since my husband died, and I would recommend this book for the early days or days when you can only handle a short message. It is broadly spiritual, but does not push any particular religion, and I was grateful for that as many books on grief and healing can lean heavily on traditional religious imagery or ideas that may not be helpful to everyone.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
6 ReactionsAnother book that I have read twice in the 16 months since my husband died is "Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief" by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD. She pours wisdom and compassion onto the pages, as a grieving mother and an experienced bereavement counselor, and her words have helped me carry what I must. She says: "If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human."
And one more, "It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine - title says it all.
I don't want to overwhelm anyone with the idea of these books - there is no timeline for reading, no one method for getting information, and no requirement to read anything! Sometimes I could only read one sentence a day. For me, words are powerful and can soothe and give me permission to sit with my thoughts. I felt the need to find authors who validated my emotions, and made me feel understood. I also found that my reading was a welcome source of good-natured humor in my house - when I bought or checked out "another grief and death book" (as my boys put it), it normalized the process of grief and the attention to feelings that I want them to see. I don't expect them to grieve their dad the way I grieve him, but I do want them to know there is no shame in being devastated, no need to hide it, and when I need help I will seek it. (And by being that example, I hope they will be able to treat themselves the same way when they need it).
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsI just found this local educational program by VNH Visiting Nurse and Hospice of Vermont and New Hampshire- "Let's Talk Grief on the Holidays" posted on Dec 4 2020
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@belliott0440 and @sargie11 another resource I wanted to highlight when and if interested. This book comes highly recommended. @mgd has made several statements above on her experience with the book. Includes daily readings.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@jaytref I wanted to highlight this book and the comments above- it comes highly recommended. Daily readings. Also including @kellyberube
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1 ReactionThank you Beth. I’ve put it on my Kindle, and have been reading it at night. It has been very helpful.
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2 ReactionsWonderful @jaytref I hope it brings you some comfort. I have spoken to many people who read daily. Keep me posted. Because of you I have just (finally) prioritized getting myself a copy and one for a friend who just lost her father last week after months with Hospice. I next need to get a Kindle! Left mine on a plan a few years back. Grateful for your update.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@kathyandcarl I wanted to highlight this book to you as well after hearing about the loss of your daughter. There are several members who have read or have started reading it. @jaytref have you started at all on your kindle?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@elizabethaodonnell Hi Beth. Yes, I read it every night. It can be very comforting. I especially liked yesterday’s meditation. ‘In the extremity of darkness I will look up and see the stars.’ I think @kathyandcarl would find it helpful.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@jaytref you "read every night" and it has been "very comforting" this is so good to know. I and still waiting for my hard copy in the mail but please continue to share readings- meditation that resonated with you or made a positive impact on your day.
I have found myself looking up at the stars and sky option this winter to make sure I capture it's beauty in the midst of a busy day. Especially when it has been so cold I do this to motivate me to continue to put one foot in front of the other. It brings me comfort.